CALIENTE'

The days get a bit easier as I take care of the collateral damage that has been done. Still amazed at the level of unresponsiveness, it is not shown when we are face to face. The nonexistent emotion, the blank face that sat across from me not to long ago is one that I have never seen. A glimmer of sorrow ran down his face as he knows the level of pain he created. The man can be cunning, he has run from so much over the course of his life he left shallow graves. They lie empty, to some degree the only thing in them are the feelings that were left behind. I don't know this man anymore, this is not the man who walked by my side, held my hand and caressed me for hours on end when I lost my mother. The level of pain is deep and widens every day as does the distance. I should consider myself lucky as the man I knew will never be there for anyone as completely as he was for me. That I do know, that no one will ever have him the way I did and probably still do. Odd is it not? The webs we weave in our lives are such an intricate pattern until they cross.

The raw pain hangs like dew on the morning leaves. The droplets linger there until the sun washes them away only to reappear the next morning. So this cycle continues, much like a faceted gemstone. Each side showing a different sparkle in the way our lives will always be interconnected. Is this a way back into my life? After the game gets played out again and the thrill is no longer there anymore, or as he put it a "fatal attraction". I have seen this before but now never again will I allow myself to be so exposed. The violation is to deep and scar will remain in my heart forever.

Caliente' a song that will forever burn in my heart, we listened to it everynight a 7 p.m., no matter where we were we knew, it was our song. If I heard it during the daytime hours I would just stop and remember when it became ours.
The night was magical in every sense of the word. The tenderness, the long kisses and raw intimacy we shared was incredible under the full moon . There is not a single person on this earth whom will ever share that with him and that I do know.......