It has been quite some time since I have written and I am sure my publisher will not be happy to hear that! I do write certain things down that happen along this windy road that life has taken me down over the past nine month's, for the most part it's been an eye opener ..
My word of late is Entitlement, and those in the world whom feel they may be owed or need to make themselves feel important in one way or another. It could be as simple as their face always being in a picture thus furthering their brand with no focus on the client. Another case maybe that the world has just not treated them fairly and they felt "entitled" to enjoy certain things that they would not be privy to in day to day life. Trust me I know what you are thinking right now, you are preaching to the choirs kids! Entitlement`~ do I feel entitled? No never have been nor ever will be. I have worked hard for everything I have gotten and those relationships we have built. I stand on integrity and solid footing as it has never been about me. Those whom we watch around us may feel differently and that is all well and good. My mantra has been "those whom you piss off on the way up will be waving on your way back down." Being on the top is not a goal I strive to get to. My trainer once told me "you need to train like you are in second place to get to first place." That has stuck with me throughtout my bodybuilding and business years. Sure it is great to bring home a trophy, I got em how many do you want? For me it is the accomplishment of standing on that stage, just knowing my work has paid off. I have the same work ethic when it comes to those we represent, I can count on my fingers how many pictures we have been in with clients -we work for them. It is about them not I.
Entitlement~~ big word and clearly there are those whom feel through their actions that indeed they are/were "entitled", have no shame to their game and feel no responsibilty. I even had to look this up as this word encompasses so much . So upon my findings indeed the meaning is mixed ~ 1) to entitle to give name to 2) a title given for nobility 3) to give oneself the right to do or to have something;allow;qualify . I do believe Don Pardo we have a winner on number ?????
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Messages
Time drifts by with each passing day, it has been a little easier but many questions remain, whether or not I get them answered only the heavens will know that . Secondly how important is it that I do get those answers. That is what I ask myself and do that daily. I am a Captain's daughter, a LT Colonels granddaughter, I have always asked questions, as I was told as a young child no question is ever stupid and if you wish to learn then one must ask......So for me whether or not I like the answers I need to know. It will be my closure
The messages are always enlightening they tend to lean towards the "I am a victim" they always end with some silly childish saying like "See ya wouldn't want to be ya !" They ramble on and on incoherent at times and fade in and out , they are saved for posterity and provide some humor I must admit. Let's be realistic here, who in their right mind unless we are 16 years old actually does this type of behavior? They now arrive in waves, usually on a Friday afternoon the phones begin to ring and the messages get left. We have seen the pattern and now it is my cocktail hour ! Who knew such dribble could be so entertaining ! O.K. let's be honest here going so far as to go to Wal-Mart buying a Cubic Zircon then telling people it an engagement ring is borderline scary!! Do you all not agree? Each day I look for the LIFETIME cameras!! I mean I do have a sense of humor but that is where I need to draw my lines in the sand ~Do you not see some type of psychotic behavior in that ~ and you all thought is was me right? I find humor in the strangest places ~ if you cannot laugh at yourself then truly you need a retreat on a foreign island.
Granted my level of comfort has been rocked, the house that was left to me is no longer the safe haven to some degree that I have come to embrace after a long day schleeping around in the city. I hear the warriors cry SELL SELL they chant in my ear ~WHY WHY WHY I retort ~~ I have the best of both worlds, easy access to three major hubs ( for those of you who know where I reside that is not one of the hubs trust me ). I am afforded the peacefulness of relaxing on a sumer day watching the little guys play in the ball field . The garden I love to play around with and watch the huge orange squash blossoms open in the early morning mist and walking the dog over to my grandfathers bridge, watching the river flow past below me gazing at the wide moutain ranges, my happy place that will never be taken away from me.........
The messages are always enlightening they tend to lean towards the "I am a victim" they always end with some silly childish saying like "See ya wouldn't want to be ya !" They ramble on and on incoherent at times and fade in and out , they are saved for posterity and provide some humor I must admit. Let's be realistic here, who in their right mind unless we are 16 years old actually does this type of behavior? They now arrive in waves, usually on a Friday afternoon the phones begin to ring and the messages get left. We have seen the pattern and now it is my cocktail hour ! Who knew such dribble could be so entertaining ! O.K. let's be honest here going so far as to go to Wal-Mart buying a Cubic Zircon then telling people it an engagement ring is borderline scary!! Do you all not agree? Each day I look for the LIFETIME cameras!! I mean I do have a sense of humor but that is where I need to draw my lines in the sand ~Do you not see some type of psychotic behavior in that ~ and you all thought is was me right? I find humor in the strangest places ~ if you cannot laugh at yourself then truly you need a retreat on a foreign island.
Granted my level of comfort has been rocked, the house that was left to me is no longer the safe haven to some degree that I have come to embrace after a long day schleeping around in the city. I hear the warriors cry SELL SELL they chant in my ear ~WHY WHY WHY I retort ~~ I have the best of both worlds, easy access to three major hubs ( for those of you who know where I reside that is not one of the hubs trust me ). I am afforded the peacefulness of relaxing on a sumer day watching the little guys play in the ball field . The garden I love to play around with and watch the huge orange squash blossoms open in the early morning mist and walking the dog over to my grandfathers bridge, watching the river flow past below me gazing at the wide moutain ranges, my happy place that will never be taken away from me.........
Saturday, January 15, 2011
7:15
The call came at 7:15 marked "private number" I knew exactly whom it was as I had expected this to begin ... again........ into voicemail they went.
Later in the evening I braved the phone to bring up the message that had been left for me knowing full well the garbage that would be spewed~ the idol threats and nonsensical ramblings of a person whom I have no contact with at all nor have or even care to ever in my life.
I'm numb as I write this wondering when the next text message will come or when the phone will ring.To be honest the voice is enough to scare a flock of goats off a cliff. Grating at best like nails on a chalkboard. Just the mear fact that someone takes all of this time and effort to do this is quite amazing to me to be honest. I pity them, it is like the saying "You can take the person out of ________ but you can't take __________ out of the person." BINGO!!!
I find it incredible the amount of time spent on me by this individual. The vendetta for lack of a better word is only known by them, so be it they have to live with themselves and after all that has occurred to even to be able to look at themselves in the mirror is way beyond my realm of comprehension. They have no quilt or shame for their actions~~~~~it is far easier to cast it out onto someone else thus releasing them of their actions. Yet karma is a BIOTCH as I have stated before and it will come full circle and I will be there with bells on my toes in 7" stilettos.
Oh and before I forget it is Man-o-lo NOT Manalolo
Later in the evening I braved the phone to bring up the message that had been left for me knowing full well the garbage that would be spewed~ the idol threats and nonsensical ramblings of a person whom I have no contact with at all nor have or even care to ever in my life.
I'm numb as I write this wondering when the next text message will come or when the phone will ring.To be honest the voice is enough to scare a flock of goats off a cliff. Grating at best like nails on a chalkboard. Just the mear fact that someone takes all of this time and effort to do this is quite amazing to me to be honest. I pity them, it is like the saying "You can take the person out of ________ but you can't take __________ out of the person." BINGO!!!
I find it incredible the amount of time spent on me by this individual. The vendetta for lack of a better word is only known by them, so be it they have to live with themselves and after all that has occurred to even to be able to look at themselves in the mirror is way beyond my realm of comprehension. They have no quilt or shame for their actions~~~~~it is far easier to cast it out onto someone else thus releasing them of their actions. Yet karma is a BIOTCH as I have stated before and it will come full circle and I will be there with bells on my toes in 7" stilettos.
Oh and before I forget it is Man-o-lo NOT Manalolo
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